How to Harness the Power of Your Mind | 2025

Have you ever stopped to think about what goes on in your mind and how much your thoughts actually shape your reality? It might sound a bit out there, like something from a self-help guru, but it is actually a really powerful concept. So many of us go through our days without reflecting on how we think, yet our thoughts are truly the key to unlocking the life we desire. This blog post is all about exploring how you can harness the incredible power of your mind to achieve better results and make real progress. Think of it as a guide to understanding and using your own personal power.

Understanding the Foundation

It is fascinating how our thoughts, feelings, and actions are all tangled up together. Our thoughts directly influence how we feel, which then dictates how we behave. It is like a cycle. If you think you are a failure, you will feel like a failure, and then, you guessed it, you will act like one. It is not magic; it is just how our minds work! For example, if you wake up and think, “This is going to be a terrible day,” you are likely to feel grumpy, which might make you snap at the first person you see. It is a downward spiral if we don’t take control of our thoughts!

Our mindset also plays a huge role in all of this. Imagine two people facing the same challenge, like a flat tire on a busy road. One person might think, “Oh no, this is a disaster! Why does this always happen to me?” This is what we call a Judger mindset; it is often a reaction to our circumstances, and it can leave us feeling stuck. The other person might think, “Okay, this is annoying, but I can figure this out.” That’s a Learner mindset: it opens us up to possibilities and keeps us moving forward. The amazing thing is that choosing a Learner mindset is, well, a choice. It is a conscious decision we can make that leads to personal growth, instead of being stuck in a negative loop. It is like deciding to wear your favourite outfit instead of something you know will make you feel uncomfortable. It is a simple but powerful choice!

Introducing the Self-Coaching Model (CTFAR)

Okay, so how do we start taking charge of our thoughts? That’s where the Self-Coaching Model, or CTFAR, comes in. Think of it as a roadmap that helps you understand the connection between your circumstances, thoughts, feelings, actions, and results. It might sound complicated, but it is pretty simple once you get the hang of it, and it is a tool that can really change your life.

Let’s break down each component:

Circumstance: 

This is a neutral fact or event that happens in the world, something you can’t control in the moment. It is like the weather, for example. If you spill your tea on your favourite buba it is a circumstance. It is raining, or your boss gives you some criticism, those are circumstances. They are simply what happened.

Thought: 

This is your interpretation of the circumstance, the story you tell yourself about what happened. Your thoughts are within your control. It is how you make sense of things, and how you decide what to make the spill of tea mean. Maybe you think “This day is ruined!” or “I can’t believe I did this again.”

Feeling: 

This is the vibration in your body caused by your thoughts. It is the emotional response you have, not to the circumstance itself but to your thoughts about it. If you think “This day is ruined!”, you might feel frustrated or defeated.

Action: 

This is what you do as a result of how you feel, determined by your thoughts. It is what happens after your feeling that leads to an outcome. Maybe you give up on doing anything you had planned, or perhaps you snap at the first person you see.

Result: 

This is what happens because of your actions, which always ends up reinforcing your original thought. It is like the final piece of the puzzle, and it shows how powerful those initial thoughts are. The result will be the evidence of your original thought. So, if you think “This day is ruined!” you may end up having a ruined day, which further proves your original thought.

The first key to using this model is to become a “Watcher” of your thoughts. It is about stepping back, observing the connection between the circumstance, your thoughts, the feelings they create, and the actions they lead to. Once you see how it all fits together, you can start to make conscious changes to get better results. It is also important to note that the process of change is not linear but circular. It starts with our thinking, which leads to actions, and then to results, and the results further reinforce our thinking.

Practical Application of CTFAR: Changing Your Results

So, how do we actually use CTFAR to make our lives better? The first step is to identify those unhelpful, negative thought patterns. Let’s say you are looking around your house and you think, “This house is a mess!”. That thought can lead to feelings of overwhelm and inaction. Let’s break that down:

• Circumstance: The house is messy.
• Thought: “This house is a mess!”
• Feeling: Overwhelmed, frustrated.
• Action: Procrastinate, avoid cleaning.
• Result: The house remains messy, which reinforces the thought “This house is a mess!”

Now, let’s look at a work example. Say you are facing a Monday morning with a sense of dread. You might find yourself thinking, “I hate my job!” Let’s run that through the CTFAR model:

• Circumstance: It is Monday morning and you have to go to work.
• Thought: “My boss is my problem.”
• Feeling: Dread, frustration, resentment.
• Action: You may come late to work, do the bare minimum at work, or complain to coworkers.
• Result: Your boss continues to criticize you which reinforces your original thought of “My boss is my problem”.

Once you have identified these negative loops, it is time to start changing those thoughts. Changing the questions we ask ourselves can also help us move from a Judger to a Learner mindset. Ask yourself: “Am I in Judger mode right now? Is this how I want to be? How else can I think about this?”. When you recognize a negative thought, try to reframe it by finding a better thought. Instead of thinking “This house is a mess!” you could try thinking “My house isn’t as clean as usual”. It is a small shift, but it can make a big difference. It is about inching up the chain to a better feeling thought that you can actually believe is true.

Choosing a new thought is not about pretending everything is perfect. It is about choosing a thought that feels a bit better, that will lead to more positive actions and results. So, instead of feeling overwhelmed and doing nothing, the thought “My house is not as clean as usual” might lead to you thinking “I can tidy up a bit now.” This might lead to you taking action and tidying up a bit, and the result will be a tidier home. The same thing goes for your work situation. Instead of thinking “My boss is my problem” you might try to think, “Maybe my boss wants me to improve a bit”. If you believe this, you may act differently and have better results at work.

The key is to start small. Don’t try to jump from feeling miserable to ecstatic overnight, instead take baby steps toward progress. It is very important that you believe the new thoughts that you are choosing. Then, take new actions that support that new thought. For example, instead of avoiding your boss, maybe you will decide to connect with them. Remember, taking action that aligns with the new thought is what reinforces that thought and creates new results.

Try using this CTFAR model yourself. Get a piece of paper, or download the worksheet at the end of this blog post, and identify a problem you are having right now. Then write down the circumstance, your thoughts about it, the feelings they cause, the actions you take, and the results you get. It is a really powerful way to see where you can make positive changes.

Additional Tools and Techniques

The CTFAR model is not the only powerful tool you can use to better manage your thoughts and create positive change.

The Choice Map: 

Think of this as a map of your mind. It visually shows you the paths of the Learner and Judger mindsets, helping you to make more conscious choices about how you react to circumstances.

The Power of Questions: 

Asking yourself powerful questions is key to shifting from a Judger to a Learner mindset. When you notice yourself judging a circumstance, ask questions like “Is this really true? How else can I look at this?”.

Visualization and Affirmations: 

These tools are also incredibly powerful in helping you focus on what you desire. See yourself succeeding in your mind’s eye, and repeat affirmations like “I am capable” or “I am making progress”. The trick here is to make sure you believe in your affirmations.

Self-Compassion: 

Don’t forget to be kind to yourself. Making changes is a learning process, and there will be bumps along the road. When you get it wrong, simply get back up and keep trying.

Common Challenges and How to Overcome Them

It is not always easy to change our thinking. Here are some common challenges and how to tackle them:

Difficulty Identifying Feelings: 

Sometimes it is hard to pinpoint exactly what you are feeling. A good place to start is to ask yourself: “Am I feeling more mad, sad, glad, or happy?”. The more you do this the more skilled you will become at identifying how you are feeling and what your body is telling you.

Using the Model in the Moment:

 Initially, you might need to use the CTFAR model after the fact, when you are no longer in the situation. But with enough practice, you will start to use it in real-time, during the circumstances themselves.

Thinking that Circumstances Cause Feelings: 

This is a tricky one! It is easy to think that what happens to you makes you feel a certain way. Remember that it is always your thinking about the circumstances that causes your feelings, not the circumstances themselves. It is your thoughts that are creating your feelings.

The Challenge of Changing Thoughts: 

2. What is the difference between a “Learner” and a “Judger” mindset, and how do they affect my thinking?

Old thought patterns can be very stubborn. It takes time, effort, and consistency to reprogram those patterns. Don’t give up!

The power of your mind is truly incredible. It is not just a bunch of airy-fairy ideas; it is a practical way to create real change in your life. By understanding how your thoughts, feelings, and actions are interconnected, you can use tools like the CTFAR model to identify your unhelpful patterns and create new, positive ones. This is a journey, not a destination. It takes time and consistent effort to shift your mindset and start to think differently.

So, what are you waiting for? Start taking control of your mind today. Fill out the CTFAR worksheet, try some of the techniques mentioned, and most importantly, be kind to yourself along the way. You might be surprised at how powerful you really are!

Remember, you are one thought away from the feeling you want. Your mind is a tool to use as you wish, so why not use it to create the life you have always dreamed of?

FAQ

1. How do my thoughts influence my outcomes in life?

Conclusion

Your thoughts are a catalyst for self-perpetuating cycles. What you think directly influences how you feel and how you behave. If you think you’re a failure, you will feel like a failure, and then act like one, reinforcing that belief. your thoughts determine your feelings and actions, which ultimately create your results. If you have a thought that does not feel good, you can change it and get different results.

The Learner mindset opens us up to possibilities, while the Judger mindset leaves us in an unproductive state. The Judger mindset is a reaction to circumstances, while the Learner mindset is a choice. A Judger mindset often leads to constricting questions such as “What’s wrong with me?” or “Why am I a failure?”. A Learner mindset leads to expansive questions, such as “What can I learn?” and “What’s possible?”. Choosing a Learner mindset involves being open to new possibilities and being less attached to personal opinions. The Choice Map is a tool to help you recognize when you are in a Judger mindset and how to switch back to a Learner mindset.

3. How can I change my negative thought patterns?

You can change negative thought patterns by first recognizing them. Your thoughts are within your control. You can use a self-coaching model to identify the circumstance, thought, feeling, action and result and change the thought to change the result. You can also practice observing your thoughts, understanding that they are not always true. Counteract negative thoughts by thinking of three positive ones. If you identify a painful thought, you can use a process of asking questions to examine it. If a thought doesn’t feel good, question it.

4. What are some practical techniques for self-coaching?

There are several self-coaching models and techniques, including:

• CTFAR Model: This model analyzes circumstances, thoughts, feelings, actions, and results. This technique helps you understand how your thoughts about a circumstance affect your emotions, actions, and ultimately the results you experience.
• The Choice Map: It helps you become more aware of your mindset (Learner or Judger) at any given moment and helps you switch from a Judger to a Learner mindset.
• Byron Katie’s Four Questions: This method involves identifying a belief and then asking four questions to evaluate it: “Is it true?”, “Can I absolutely know that it is true?”, “How do I react, what happens, when I believe that thought?”, and “Who would I be without that thought?”.

Downloadable Resources